Hello!
I can’t believe it is Wednesday already! This week is flying by!
I have been reading the news and going on facebook too much. I’ve read a lot of stories recently about people whose lives have been taken too early. Really tragic. I like to know what is going on in the world and I think exposure to reality is good to some extent. But when you start shedding tears every time you read the news, time out time! My Grandmother used to have the TV on all day when she was home and it was always set to the news. She was a little deaf so the volume was always turned up. My Grandmother used to get so upset and worried about the state of the world, which can be upsetting and worrying! However, at times it consumed her and I don’t believe it was healthy.
Anyway, all of these stories remind me of my mortality and those around me. They remind me how special time with those we love is! And how important our paths on the earth are. I had a teacher in High School who used to ask us every class, if today was your last day would you be happy with your life?
Obviously we can’t have great or even good days every day. However, we can aim to have a life we find fulfilling. And how do you do that?
I’m no expert, but one of the things I believe helps is taking care of you. Taking care of your dreams, needs, wishes, desires and goals. Sometimes or often we can’t do it all! Maybe everything is what we strive for but even if we could have it all it wouldn’t be healthy. It is okay not to tick off everything!
For me one of the hardest things about taking care of my needs is identifying them. Sometimes I don’t know what I want. I have never really known what I wanted to do “when I grow up.” Many people do and go for it! I guess I have a wide range of interests and lots of things appeal a little. It is hard to achieve goals if you don’t set them! I have figured out that moving forward for me involves trying out new and different things, setting different goals, and being open to change if it is not working out the way I want it to be.
One of the other major stumbling blocks in meeting our needs, I believe, is the rat race to survive. We have to work to pay for food, clothing, housing, the list goes on. Indulging in our true desires can be expensive, involve time out to study and may not feel possible when you have to pay for everything! In a way meeting our needs can feel like a first world luxury. And I guess to a large extent it is. That doesn’t mean that it is wrong or not acceptable to follow our dreams. We may not be able to drop out of the corporate world in pursuit of writing a novel, but maybe we can do short writing courses on the weekends and write for fun. Start smaller and let it grow. However, that said, I am a believer in taking a chance on your dreams if you are in the position to do so!
Being a good communicator is another really key factor in getting what you want out of life. And I’m not going to lie, I fall down majorly here. I can communicate well in some regards – can write and speak and love socialising. But sometimes when it really counts I find it easier to stay quiet then to speak up for myself. I have been told I am a push over or walk over and I guess really sometimes it is true. I am empathetic and don’t like to do the pushing so it can be hard to find the line in between and easy to take the laying down approach.
Despite all of my ramblings I will say if today was my last day I would be proud of where I am.
Do you struggle to take care of your needs? Do you know what you want to do with your life? If you died today would you be happy?
Jess xoxox
oh HEY, QUEEN pushover here!!
I’ve been working very, very hard this past year to open up and communicate and start to put myself first and just TALK about my feelings and needs – it is hard work!
I think I definitely struggle to take care of my needs first!
Lovely post!
torontorunner recently posted…THE RUN OF MY LIFE!!! *15 treadmill miles!!!*
Hahaha Love it Queen Pushover! Hilarious! That could easily be my title too!
Jess, one of the reasons I made some big changes in my life a few months ago was because I realised I really wasn’t happy. (I mean, I knew that but felt powerless to do anything about it!)
I decided I would have SO many regrets if my life was to end… so I finished up in my job, sold my house, downsized and underwent a sea change. I’m still finding my way in my new life… but I’m getting there!
Deb
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I think you’re change is awesome! Truly I think many people in the corporate world have the same feelings as you and don’t do anything!
Your attitude is always so amazing, I just think you speak your mind so well and have a perspective that is so refreshing!
Alex @ therunwithin recently posted…Things I Wish I Knew
Thanks Alex, you made my day!
I just had this conversation with a very good friend of mine as I was contemplating a major change and saying well, if I do this, I feel like it would be for these people, but if I do this, I feel like it is for these other people. And I don’t know what I want. My friend calls that internalized patriarchy when women are always looking out for others instead of themselves. I think we just have a very difficult time identifying what we want. I need to talk, think, ponder, run it all out for a while before I can identify what I really want.
Amy @ Writing While Running recently posted…Popcorn!
Yeah I definitely need to slow down and think harder about my decisions. When I was younger I would want to act quickly, make a snap decision and then later I would regret it because I didn’t think through the consequences. (Even though sometimes my snap decision was probably okay!) Or I wouldn’t make a decision and would feel trapped in my situation.
Your comment about going after something and finding that every corner you turn costs you money to do it struck a nerve with me today. I’m feeling a little like that right now.
If I died today I think I’d be happy about the life I’ve lived. I would have regrets and there are certainly things I would change… but overall I would be happy.
Another thing in your post that struck me is that “following my dream” isn’t easy when I don’t know what that dream is. There are faint whispers but no loud shouts. When the day-to-day is as loud as it is faint whispers are hard to listen to!
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That is what I really struggle with! I have faint whispers but no loud shouts! So I find it hard to set big goals sometimes because I don’t know which direction I really want to head down!
My grandmother was the exact same way! I think all the news made her very negative and took away a lot of her joy. I read in an Andrew Weil article (or one of his books?) that he recommends taking news “fasts”. I do this regularly, and actually only look at news maybe once a week.
Taking care of me is always a work in progress, especially (as you know) with little ones. But I truly believe that to be a care taker, whether that be a mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter, whatever… we first have to care for ourselves, otherwise what do we have to give?! I still don’t know what I want to do “when I grow up” or actually I guess when my kids grow up
but I hope to do something that makes me happy (and some $:) and brings others happiness.
Great post! A good thinker
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Aren’t Grandmother’s funny! I miss her so much, despite her crazy news blasting she definitely had a lot to teach me and I wish I’d listened more!
I think you’re totally right that to be the best care taker you have to take care of yourself. I think you are on the right path for you at the moment! You write so passionately about your family and running! I’m so excited for your next race to see how your training pays off.
Forgive my story, but it is still raw for me.
Two weeks ago a 77 year old woman was named Crossing Guard of the year for our city! She was very active, even at her age.
Just in case: She helped kids cross a very busy street on their way to and from the school closest to where I live.
I would see her many days, and the kids loved her wonderful attitude!
Last week she and her 78 year old husband were killed by a semi-trailer truck backing out into the street into the path of their car!
I’m still reeling from the senseless tragedy!
Dr. J recently posted…Weight, Age, and the Effects of How We Talk About Them
Oh what a tragic story! I’m so sorry to hear that for you and your whole community! It sounds like she touched the lives of many and enabled kids to feel safe every day.
I have to admit I don’t watch much news and definitely not the LOCAL news because it just makes me sad. I definitely spend time each day saying affirmations or reading things that will help me care for myself, like you said…it makes me more loving to others.
Amanda @RunToTheFinish recently posted…IT Band School – Lunge Matrix for Recovery
I need to be better about reading/ saying affirmations I think they make a huge difference.
Hey Jess, I just went through the same thing! Its crazy how you know you can have anything you want but the knowing what you want part is the hardest part. I was able to get past it because I realized you can change what you want at any time. I stay away from the news and negative TV as much as I can as I know it just keeps you down and takes away from the acceptance of positive energy. If something is seriously going on I will log online and read about it instead. Sending you positive vibes and a happy day! love + shine Courtstar
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You’re so right the power of change is remarkable. We can change at any time! I think people forget that, they feel consumed by their lives and afraid to do something different. I hope you have a great day too!
I don’t watch much news or TV in general. However, I notice that when I concern myself with others and focus on being more kind and loving it is easier for me to love myself and take care of myself. That may seem counter-intuitive, but it works for me.
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Yeah I agree that helping others is incredibly rewarding and good for the soul. I think the problem with the news is often they are people so far and disconnected from you and you can’t help everyone.
Oh yes, finding out what we really want is the hardest part, isn’t it? It seems obvious, but when you sit down and think about it, it can look much more complicated
evilcyber recently posted…The Basic Squat Fitness Test
Yes it is hard! I don’t know why it isn’t more obvious to me!
This is such a great post and something that I think about CONSTANTLY. I’m always weighing whether I’m making a choice because I *want* to or because I think I *have* to. I definitely think that life should be a combination of accepting responsibilities and enjoying yourself/taking care of your needs, but it’s hard for me to pinpoint the exact, ever-changing, balance…
Alex @ Brain, Body, Because recently posted…BIG NEWS!
I have come to the conclusion that that more or less is life. In a way we are all pendulums looking for balance.
evilcyber recently posted…The Wolf Howls – Single Leg Exercises
Yeah you’re right we swing too far either way and we’re not happy!
Oh you have nailed it on the head with a balance of responsibilities and taking care of your needs!
Jess, two degrees and several years later, including kids, I still ‘don’t know what I want to do’. As long as I give my best then I guess I am happy.
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Love that attitude! It is what I always tell my little ones, all you can do is your best! I need to take that way of thinking on!