Encouraging Twin Individuality


Happy Weekend!

I hope you guys are all enjoying the weekend and hopefully a break from work! We have had a lot of fun so far. Yesterday I took the girls for an 8km run (ok not fun for them), but it was great to push myself further then usual. The run was a loop to Manly Beach and back. Manly is probably one of Sydney’s more famous beaches. It gets quite crowded, but has a great atmosphere too. Lots of shops and tourists. The girls were very pleased to be taken there, but never like the run back!

After the run we went out to dinner at restaurant with a new playground with my sister and her family. It was a great way to get the kids outside and use up their extra energy before bed. I love it when restaurants have playgrounds!

Someone commented to me while we were out that the girls looked the same. She asked did I dress them differently so that I could tell them apart? I said no. As their mum I really have no problem telling them apart. I am actually sometimes surprised when people tell me how identical they look, because to me they look so different. They have the same coloured complexion, hair colour and eye colour, so really they probably do look quite a lot a like to a stranger. But to me not at all.

It is true I don’t dress them identically – unless they want to be. Actually they pretty much never let me dress them at all. They have such strong ideas about what they will wear that even if I wanted to dress them the same it wouldn’t happen. Very occasionally they actually ask to wear the same thing.

However, I really like to foster their independence. I think it is wonderful they have each other- a special relationship that is unique and hopefully will benefit them their whole lives. It is ridiculous to think that they will and should be paired together always. They are individuals.

When I was pregnant I read an article by a twin about the things she wished she could have told people growing up about how to treat twins. It was quite interesting, but what really hit home was that she was constantly paired as a ‘twin’. She was dressed the same, few people bothered to learn her name or her sisters name (they were instead called ‘the twins’), she received the same presents (or worse a present to share) every Birthday and never had her own party.

Being a mother of twins sometimes it is impractical, too expensive or just too difficult not to give gifts to share (ie large doll house, we don’t have room or money for two). And at their age – we always have joint parties. However, I always buy them separate cards, give them gifts that I know each one will be interested in, let them pick their outfits and encourage them to make their own choices. At their party this year I will be making them separate and different cakes because that is what they ask for. I always call them by their unique names (or pet names). I also try to encourage extended family to do the same.

Are any of you twins? Mother of twins? Relatives/ friends of twins? Do you find them to be quite independent? How do you foster this independence?

Enjoy your weekend,

Jess xoxoxox


5 Responses to Encouraging Twin Individuality

  1. they are precious. I never thought about how to treat twins differently. The twins i knew were so different. I mean, they looked the same but their interests were far from alike. I guess their mother gave them lots of independence.

  2. My younger brothers are twins and are about as different as two people can be. Beginning in about 3rd grade they decided they wanted to be in different classes and have had totally different interests ever since.

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