How are you all going?
Have you ever heard that phrase “Change your Mind, Change your Life“. It is pretty powerful thought, but much easier said than done.
I am far from an evolved person, I feel like I have a lot to learn and a long way to travel. However, step one at least I realise that I need to keep trying! I also realise that I am one of my biggest stumbling blocks at certain times.
This year I have been trying to improve my confidence and have discussed that briefly here. I have to learn to think differently and behave differently. Make different choices. There is a natural chain reaction and flow to things and I am often more influential on the flow than I take responsibility for.
So yes whilst I am not a master I want to share with you what I have learnt and more importantly am learning to put into practice.
Take care of yourself. It is hard to function, let alone work on ourselves if we are not getting enough sleep, not eating well, drinking enough water or moving our bodies. So take care of yourself and feel no guilt. Guilt is a waste of time.
Set priorities, goals, intentions or create a vision to focus on. It is harder to get to where you want to be if you don’t know where you want to go. It helps to have something to focus on and something to work towards. You may change your mind as you travel along the journey or something may come up that pushes you in a different direction. That is fine, goals should be fluid, but that doesn’t make them less helpful.
Believe it is possible. If you don’t believe in your ideas, thoughts, desires then who will and how will you create them.
Believe in yourself and your own abilities. You need to learn to advocate for yourself because at times no one else will. And you need the strength to support yourself and your abilities when you feel most vulnerable. It is easier to believe in yourself when you have cheerleaders (which you should aspire to have), however, it is really most crucial to believe in yourself when you really feel alone.
OR fake it until you make it. Self doubt and putting yourself down can be hard to shake and hard to change. I know. So pretend. Pretend you think you are awesome and that you can achieve what you want to achieve even if you don’t. Keep pretending. Say it out loud. Become an amazing actor. The line between reality and fantasy will become dimmer.
Surround yourself with people who inspire you and believe in you. As I said before it is harder to believe in yourself when no one else seems to. There are people out there who will believe in you and will promote you. There are people out there who are probably doing some of the things you want to. Look to them for inspiration, encouragement and advice. Spend time with those you inspire you over those who bring you down.
Prepare, study, read, question and repeat as often as necessary. You want to be ready when the opportunity presents itself. The best way to do this is to prepare. If you want to be the best you have to learn how to be the best, and usually that takes continuous and consistent effort. Start small and create positive habits. Research how others have achieved what you want to achieve. If you are a trailblazer educate yourself on what is already known so you can blaze ahead. It doesn’t hurt to be over prepared.
Look at what is holding you back and set out a path of simple steps to overcome those thing. There may be very genuine and real time restraints, physical limitations or financial barriers to getting where you want to go. Figure out what those are, write them down and brain storm. Many things can be overcome. Something that blew my mine when I studied Discrimination, Disability and the Law at University was that often people with a disability do not complain or see their disability as a barrier to their success but a lack of access and inadequate infrastructure. They aren’t complaining they are in a wheel chair but they are complaining that there are not more ramps! Ramps can be built, build more ramps in your life.
Look at who is holding you back and set out to change the boundaries of your relationships step by step. Relationships can be toxic, people can beat you down if you let them. I love people this is not a knock on having friendships. However, it pays to listen to those who inspire you and limit your time with those who are negative. The same person can be extremely uplifting in one aspect of life and limiting in another. Learn to recognise helpful advice from negative limiting advice. Take on board what helps you and learn to wall out what doesn’t. Learn to set boundaries and establish healthy positive relationships. Take responsibility for all your actions and look inwards for ways in which you can be a better friend, partner, parent etc.
Celebrate previous successes and moments of greatness. Enjoy those moments, reflect on them and use the energy they give you to fly you further ahead.
Appreciate what you have right now in this moment and reflect on the positives in your life, even whilst you are working to change your life. This is so important. Regardless of the hardships we face, the problems we have or the negativity in our lives there is always something to appreciate. Life really is a beautiful thing if you allow yourself to enjoy it. Complaining is contagious and a bad habit. Turn it into a good habit. Practice gratitude and be grateful for today and this moment.
Give back to others, even whilst you are working to achieve more for yourself. This is one of the most important steps in my book. It really pays off to help others. It puts your woes into perspective, it makes you feel good, it makes others feel good and it helps make the world a better place. The more we do this and the more others do this the more change we can make. Be an inspiration, be a cheerleader, be a supporter and a giver. Smile, say hello and help. There is always an opportunity to fit more giving into your life.
Realise everything can change in a day. Usually this phrase is associated with really negative things, like traumatic events, natural disasters etc. However, my Mum is always telling me things can change and they can change quickly in a really positive way too. And why not? Change is inevitable. If you are having a really bad day remember everything really can be turned around.
What are your biggest stumbling blocks? Are you good at overcoming challenges? What are you most proud of?