Talking to Kids about Death

hopeHello!

How are you all? I apologise for the blunt title, it is a heavy topic, but unfortunately it is on my mind.

Recently a little girl we knew around the same age as my twin girls died. It feels horrific to type that. I want to find a nicer way to say it. She had leukemia, recovered, relapsed and I guess further treatments were unsuccessful. She passed away. It is terribly, terribly sad. It really is unimaginable.

She was a beautiful little person, we knew her through a mutual activity. We didn’t know her really well, but she lived near us and we used to see her around quite a lot. I had just been thinking that I hadn’t seen her in awhile. The last time we saw her I thought she was doing well. It is impossible to fathom that she is not with us.

We saw her picture in the paper, as there was a funeral notice. My girls saw it too. They asked me what it was about. I started to answer and hesitated. Were they ready to hear it? Did they need to hear it? An adult family member was in the room and they cut me off and ended the conversation quickly so that conversation was diverted. The decision about whether or not to be really honest with my girls was made by someone else and I went with that.

The next day we had a similar incident. Some how the situation again came up in discussion, another adult was there and quickly the conversation was diverted and my girls questions went unanswered.

I don’t know whether or not I made the right decision. I don’t know whether or not I should have faced it head on and discussed it with them. I have no doubts this little girl will come up again in conversation. Eventually I will have to tell them.

I read an article recently (and also coincidentally) that suggested you should talk to you kids about death early. It even went so far as to suggest that you should consider purchase a pet with a short life span, such as a fish. So that kids can have a “low impact death situation” to grasp what it really means.

I don’t know what the answer is or when the right time is to explain it. No doubts it is like everything else in life, there probably isn’t a perfect or right time. I don’t know why I feel uncomfortable with the topic, I am pretty quick to be honest with my kids about most things. I know I am not alone in that feeling, if people are writing articles on “low impact death situations for kids”. I also feel somewhat ridiculous for overthinking a discussion with my kids. Imagine how the parents who lose children must feel. How do they function? How do their siblings function? They have no choice.

Death is a reality of life and unfortunately it can be tragic. I am so so so so sorry for the little friend and her beautiful family.  I have felt really upset about it since reading about it, I can only imagine how hard it must have been for those closer.

What are your thoughts? When did you first have to deal with death? Did you parents ever discuss it with you?

Jess xoxox

photo by:
Posted in Blog, Family | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Happy Birthday!

H and L YambaHello!

It has been awhile! The last two weeks have been quite busy. Friday Night was Halloween, which my girls love celebrating. Not simply because it is a fun holiday but also because for my twins it is a big milestone, the eve of their Birthday. Their last day as big 3 year olds before they turned 4!

Saturday was very exciting! My girls turned 4! I cannot believe they are 4! Happy Birthday my beautiful girls! I adore them so much!

Halloween 2014

I have been thinking about things that I hope and wish for them. They are growing up so fast. Seriously it seems like maybe 6 months ago that they were babies. They are going to preschool next year and school the following year. I am going to miss them! Of course I am excited for them to embark on their own adventures into the world, build their own friendships and interests and lives. However, it is definitely a huge transition and it will probably be harder for me to watch them go through it then the transition will be for them to make.

L Yamba

I would love to give them the gift of confidence and the ability to be grateful and happy for their lives. I want them to be confident to make the choices in their lives that will give them the most satisfaction and enable them to become the women they want to be. The interests they pursue and the paths they take will ultimately be up to them. However, watching them grow and their stories unfold will no doubts be magical to watch and be a part of!

H Yamba

Happy Birthday my Beautiful girls I hope it is a wonderful year for you and I promise it will be filled with many kisses and cuddles and snuggles from me!

What was your favourite childhood age?

Jess xoxox

 

Posted in Blog, Family | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Yamba!

20141009_102415Hello!

First Up, I would like to say thank you for all the comments on my last post. I think it is something that goes unspoken too often and I really appreciated hearing from you all.

 

 

We are back and I thought I would share a few snaps of our trip. It was very relaxing.

20141001_163119[1]
And fun.
20140930_100820[1]
With a little adventure.
20141003_110817[1]

Mornings were spent at the beach and afternoons resting and going for walks, at the park or in the garden.

20141008_103440

It was just nice to be away and have space physically and in time from our day to day life. The girls had a blast and the baby loved it!

20141001_164149[1]

 

Everyone slept well and played hard. The girls also ate more than I have ever seen them in their lives!

 

20141007_124331

It was definitely good for my mental health! Although coming back has been challenging in many ways, which is strange cause it was only a short break to familiar territories.

20141007_110056[1]

 

But long enough to clear my head! And give me clarity, which is sometimes is challenging because you can’t hide from reality.

 

20141004_093942[1]

 

 

Anyway… looking forward to the next trip for sure.

Have you got any trips booked or planned?

Jess xoxox

 

Posted in Blog | 9 Comments